I'm a Goner
by AubreyAnne
Summary: Adrien can't stop the blackness creeping up his arm.


It took months for Adrien to figure out that something was wrong. Months of battles, months of 'Miraculous Ladybugs', and months of Cataclysms.

He would feel tired. Sure, anyone who suffered through his intensely packed schedule _on top_ of being a part-time superhero would feel fatigued now and then, but the sudden dizzy spells when he moved too quickly were a growing concern lodged in the back of his mind.

It was after one of these times, jumping up from his place at the dining room table, vision fading slightly until he braced one free hand onto the wall behind him as the other went to his spinning head, that he noticed something. It started out as a small black tip of skin on his middle finger, only the size of a pen tip, but with each time that he used his special power, it grew just a fraction more.

It wasn't painful. It didn't itch. He didn't even attribute it to the fatigue and dizziness he had been suffering from. But that sinking feeling in his gut whenever he caught sight of it, whenever he willingly used Cataclysm to help out his Lady, he knew that nothing good could come from the black slowly bleeding into his hand.

Plagg said that it was a hazard of the job, that sometimes the magic of the dark destruction that he yielded in battle would sync to his body, that it had only happened once before- Plagg couldn't bring himself to tell Adrien what had happened to that particular previous Chat.

They solemnly watched it progress, day by day. At first, he could pass it off to his friends, family, and makeup artists as a bruised finger, slammed accidently between a door frame. As the weeks progressed, and the black mark slowly creeped its way up his right hand, he began to panic- he couldn't pass this much pitch black decay off as just some injury- he'd have to find ways to hide it.

The cool bite of winter air gave him the excuse of stuffing the offending limb into rotating pairs of thick, dark mittens. He'd claim chills when asked to remove them in class or pestered about it while hanging out with Nino.

A thick, cover up makeup became his plan for photoshoots. Adrien spent hours researching the best product and finally found one guaranteed to cover even the blackest of tattooed ink- he could only hope that it would work for him.

And it did; at least partly.

Adrien was able to shed his ever present gloves, he was able to roll up his sleeves without fear of others noticing the jagged black line that now separated his forearm and hand, and he was able to carry on and pretend that nothing was wrong.

At least, he was able to until he transformed into Chat Noir once more. The mask that granted him anonymity also stripped him of the layers of carefully crafted make up… he was only glad that his suit was ever present over his growing secret- Ladybug didn't need to concern herself with what her magic cure couldn't fight off.

It was his duty- Adrien told himself when his despair grew too large- it was his duty to help Ladybug defeat the Akumas. It was his duty to protect her. It was his joy to love her. It was his privilege to shelter her from the fate that lay before him.

Plagg had tried to get him to let her know what was happening. The small god, words thick and laced with worry, chocked out that maybe she could help them. Adrien's heart sank when his smallest friend nuzzled his cheek whispering that he couldn't lose another kitten.

But Adrien couldn't put that weight on the woman he loved.

It was past his bicep now… inching steadily closer to his heart. Most days he couldn't find the energy to get out of bed, only rising when Nathalie roused him and threatened involving his father. His friends were worried. His partner was worried. He was terrified.

Destruction and creation- one must always come with the other. As the days slip by, Ladybug continues to fix the destruction caused by each new victim and Chat Noir finds that he has to sit down and catch his breath against the throbbing pain seeping into his chest.

Her vivid blue eyes dance along his frame anxiously, but he never allows her the time to ask. Patrols have become excruciating nights filled with desperate jumps along the rooftops trying to outrun his partner's questions and his fears all at once. The suit gives him strength that he is lacking as a civilian and he latches onto that as a scared child clutches his blanket in a darkened room.

The darkness is always nipping at his heels though. He can't outrun it, just as he can't outrun those beautiful blue irises and the desperate stare permanently attached to them these days.

It has reached halfway across his chest, spindling out like a spider web across his once flawless skin. The pitch black destruction paints his entire right arm and reaches ever more greedily stretching down his side. Plagg helps him apply the mountain of cover up makeup to avoid suspicion.

Adrien's determined that no one will know. He's meticulous. He's evasive. He's cunning.

He's made a mistake.

With horror reflecting back at him from Ladybug's eyes, Chat takes a blow across his chest from the latest Akuma's sword-like arm. He can feel as it slits through his protective suit and skin as though it were butter. Eyes wide from the sudden pain, he is thrown back by the force of the attack and smacks painfully into the brick wall behind him.

Minutes are lost as his world swims with colors. His enhanced hearing comes in and out of focus. He knows that there is blood- he can see it seeping out from the wound and forming a puddle around his body. The black of his skin, the black of his suit, the red of the blood, and, suddenly, the red of his partner's suit.

She's frantic, Adrien can tell by the ever shifting gaze of her eyes, and he knows that she can see the black death painted across his skin. Raising up his left hand, making sure none of his destructive power can touch her, he cups the trembling cheek of his love.

"Shhh, Lady-Ladybug… I-It's okay. Please… please don't cry for me." He coughs and more blood seeps from the gash.

"No." The woman before him whispers and he can see the determined gleam of her stare. "No, you are not dying here Chaton."

She stumbles back from him, catching her footing and tossing her lucky charm into the air, her voice cracks loudly around her sob and he can feel the ladybug magic working over his skin, stitching through the immediate fissure of broken skin and split suit, but he knows… he knows that it can't do anything for what is going to kill him.

The bluenette staggers her way back over, hope flirting across her face as she sees that the large gash has been healed.

"There- see Chaton?" She murmurs out around the tears dripping from her cheek bones. "I told you that you wouldn't die. See?" Her half grin slips from her face like ice cream melting on a hot day, slowly but certainly disappearing as she takes in his labored breathing, the hand clutched at his chest, and the grimace of pain still etched into his features.

"I-I'm sorry My Lady…but, I'm a goner. Nothing- nothing that you could do I-I'm afraid." He tries to look at her, to comfort her, but she's staring resolutely at the bell around his neck. Adrien sighs and catches her attention with his free hand as he wipes away a trail of tears.

"I-I wanted to-to tell you that I love you, my Lady. I-I have since we met and I-I want you to know who I-I am before it's too late." Her face is flushed and scrunched with misery as he looks for her approval. A small nod, her hands both cupping the one on her cheek trying to find solace or give solace or just to feel that connection with him, and then, with a breath, Adrien released himself from Plagg's power.

Ladybug gazed upon him and he saw the light leave her eyes as she bowed her head into his chest and wept. Breathing was getting harder, he knew the corruption within his body was creeping into his lungs and heart, but he had to try and comfort her.

"A-Adrien." She choked out around sobs as he reached up to caress her hair. "C-Chat. I can't- you can't die on-on me." Her head rocked back and forth in denial as she furiously pushed herself away from him and began tearing through the fabric of his flimsy t-shirt. A small gasp filled his ears as she traced the spindly pattern on his skin. "This- this is what you've been hiding from us- from _me_."

He agreed with a nod of the head. "Ladybug, I-"

"Marinette." The words died in his throat as she cut him off. A bright pink light filled his vision and Ladybug was replaced with the adorable girl who sat behind him in class. The girl who was always there, within arm's reach, to give him a helping hand or a shoulder to lean on. She'd been there all along.

"Marinette." He breathed out in reverence. "I-I love you. I-I didn't want you to-to worry about something that you- you couldn't cure." She was leaning into him once more and he had to fight back a sob creeping its way up the back of his throat as he thought about all of their wasted time together not knowing that they were so close.

"No." Marinette spoke so suddenly and so fiercely that his entire body jerked. She flung herself into a standing position. "No- I'm not letting you leave me Adrien. I-I'm not- I'm not strong enough. I-I love you too much."

His heart gave a painful thud at her declaration. "Mari- you can't- nothing can stop this."

"No, Adrien." She stomped her foot. "We are a team. We're… we're… miraculous!" A hand flew up to her earlobe just as her gaze fell onto the ring nestled on his blackened hand. "We're _miraculous_!" She shouted crouching down and gently sliding the gleaming silver away from his reach.

"Mari- what?" He couldn't even push himself up to try and reach her. He watched as a manic grin spread across the pink lips that he loved so much.

"Tikki! Can- can it work?" A small red being floated into the picture with Plagg chasing at her heels. Both were wide eyed, glancing between Marinette, the miraculous, and each other.

"It's- it's dangerous Marinette. It could destroy you both." Twin pigtails trashed around her shoulders as she shook her head.

"I can't lose him, Tik. I-I have to try." Her blue eyes connected with his as she slipped the silver ring onto her own hand and Adrien finally understood.

"No!" He shouted in anguish, eyes never leaving her gaze.

"Tikki, Plagg… please… _save him._ "

Magic whipped the air around them making it sizzle and crackle with energy. Pink and green swirled together as one around the two saviors of Paris and Adrien felt the magic tracing its way into his veins.

A collective gasp of air as both teens felt the thrum of power created by the combined miraculous' and time stood still. He was alive, he was sure of it, but the pain was gone. Adrien could breathe easily once more and his heart wasn't fighting painfully against the darkness, instead it was beating frantically as he found the strength to stand and rush towards Marinette who was doubled over clutching at her own chest.

"Remove the ring!" The shrill command came from Tikki as she flew frantically around her chosen.

"Come on kid, it's too much for her." Plagg urged as Adrien forced her hand away from her small body and peeled the ring from her slender finger. A great inhale and the world went quiet once more. His arms were wrapped so tightly around Marinette that he was worried about suffocating her, but the rhythm of her breathing and the thrum of her heartbeat that he could feel against his own body was enough to dissuade those fears.

She had saved him. He could have lost her. So many emotions were raging in his mind, but the one thing he was certain of was that he couldn't let her go. Not now, certainly not for hours to come, and probably not for the rest of his life.

Shaking arms came up to push him away and uncertain eyes swept across the exposed skin of his chest and down his arm. A small crease in the center of her eyebrows and a downwards tilt of the corner of her mouth had him glancing down at his dominate hand.

There, starkly contrasting with his pale skin, was a jagged separation of pitch black tattooed halfway up his forearm.

Slowly turning back to his partner, Adrien's eyes slid along a glaringly familiar spider web pattern painted in bright red radiating out from the top of Marinette's shirt. Panic filled his brain as one hand went to expose more of the offending mark. Her hand was ghosting across his still blackened skin just as his was skimming the edges of red against her own.

"You share it now." Plagg's voice broke into his panic as the small god floated into view, supporting an exhausted looking Tikki. "The magic won't be able to kill either one of you as long as the burden is carried by both."

"Adrien will harbor the destruction in his left arm and Marinette, you will harbor creation in your heart." Tikki added softly. "It was the only thing we could do."

An exhaled sigh of relief from Marinette, an inhaled breath to calm himself, and then the two teens were locked into each other's embraces, clutching the other one as tightly as they dared. Tears leaked quietly from the corners of eyes, murmurs of love and affection were traded, and Adrien concentrated on the continued beating of a life within his chest that he didn't know he would get to live.


End file.
